Fear is not a word that I use to describe how I'm feeling usually but it probably best captures what's going through my head right now.
When this started I said to people, "The only thing I'm not going to be able to say is that I didn't train enough."
I didn't train enough.
That's what's going through my head right now. I'm not thinking about the weekends of 5 - 7 hour bike rides and 2 - 3 hour runs; the weeks where I rode or ran for an hour every morning and swam every lunch. I'm not thinking about the nights when I was so exhausted that I couldn't stay awake late enough to put my daughter to bed.
I'm thinking about the 45 minute run and the the 3 1/2 ride I didn't do in December because it was cold and windy. I'm thinking about the swims I missed at lunch because I was working 80 hours / week in February and March.
I'm thinking about my knee. I'm thinking about the swim.
I'm stuck with too many negative thoughts.
I need to change the focus. That's what I'm going to work on.
Marc
